


I Am Become Death (destroyer of myself)

by NightingaleSongs



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hopeful ending?, One Shot, post 2x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:05:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3360362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightingaleSongs/pseuds/NightingaleSongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And they had won. At a cost. The cost of so many, of herself; and all that she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clark deals with her actions after the war is over against the Mountain Men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Become Death (destroyer of myself)

**Author's Note:**

> So really short, still very new to this (this is my second fic EVER) ... really open to critics and commentators! Just let me know what you think!?  
> All characters belong to The 100 writers.... and all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Lyrics a start and finish are 'I'll Be There' by the Jackson 5.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.... :)

_You and I must make a pact,_

_we must bring salvation back_

_Where there is love, I'll be there_

 

Only 35 of the original hundred survived. Survived being relative, they were alive, mostly physically intact; still... more them half of them were broken.

Dead inside to cope with the trauma. Or shaking messes that couldn't cope with touch or craved it.

Clarke had put everything of herself into the war against the Mountain Men. Redirecting her grief, her guilt, her loss into a consuming rage that no one could survive. And they had won. At a cost. The cost of so many, of herself; and all that she was.

_I Am Become Death._

Clarke had lost her soul.

She stands so still, face blank, a watcher off to the side. A Queen looking over subjects, people that call themselves her friends. She has no friends. She is alone, stoic, a conquering angel.

No one knows the turmoil under her still facade. She is gasping silently. Clarke is breaking.

Everyone is healing, comforting, resting. She has nowhere to hide from the blame.

She almost misses the sound of death and guns and the blood that pounded in her ears, drowning her, drowning everything else out leaving only instinct. She can't stand the stillness, the softness. It is more unbearable then being slashed open.

Then she sees _him_ approaching, alive, a familiar frown upon his brow and mouth open as if to speak, and the last string holding her together breaks.

She runs, flees, she can't face him, can't think.

_Not Worth The Risk Not Worth The Risk Not Worth The Risk Not Worth The Risk Not Worth The Risk._

_Who We Need To Be To Survive.....Different Things... Doesn't Define Us....Are you sure?_

Clarke falls, legs collapsing, curling, folding into herself like a black hole. Sucked into the nothingness she has become. She can't breathe, the air is the ash of people.

_I Am Become Death I Am Become Death I Am Become Death I Am Become Death I Am Become Death I Am Become Death.......What have I become?_

"Clarke?" She hears footfalls over the pounding blood rushing in her ears.

"Clarke" , it is a plea, a sound of deep need, disappointment, worry, hope. It is too painful.

_I am no longer Clarke, Clarke was good_.

She clasps her knees to her chest too hard, her finger nails leaving trails of blood, she doesn't notice. Eyes squeezed tight, shaking, shutting out the world, hiding. She can't escape herself.

She snaps, suddenly she is screaming, it is unearthly, unnatural, ripping out of her throat as if she is being murdered. It is somehow fitting, after all who she was is dead. The earth had finally broken Clarke Griffin.

He is holding her and it is the only thing keeping her here.

 

 

 

_And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,_  
 _Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you_  
 _I'll be there with a love that's strong_  
 _I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on_


End file.
